Chapter Three: The 28 Day Ecstasy Plan - Week One/Day One
by Al Link and Pala Copeland
In this first week of practice you’ll learn the basic components of Tantric lovemaking skills: relaxation, focus, conscious breath, PC Pumping, loving connection.
Day One
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Read through the full day’s practice before you begin.
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Choose which partner will be today’s guide.
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Time required for reading the exercises and practicing them: 20 minutes.
Grounding
Over the next 28 days you’ll be learning to work with your sexual energy. In order to do that, it’s very helpful to be in a relaxed state, feeling comfortable, safe, and focused. Grounding is a simple and quick way to become calm, centered, and present. Your intention while Grounding is to release tension, blockages, and negative energies from your system. You replace them with Mother Earth energy—strong, serene, and full of sensual vitality.
As you begin, it’s important to remember that, for some people, “energy” can be very subtle. You may not notice anything happening internally when you first try techniques like Grounding. Visualizing and sensing energy flow might seem elusive and difficult. If that’s the case for you, know that your intention is what’s most important. Your energy will go where your intention directs it, whether you can consciously feel it right away, or not.
 Time: 5 minutes
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Sit comfortably, your feet flat on the floor, your back straight but not rigid, your hands in your lap, or on your thighs.
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Close your eyes.
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Take a big breath in and let it out. Repeat.
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Relax your shoulders and belly.
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Focus your attention on your lower belly and your genitals.
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When your concentration on these parts of your body is strong, begin to imagine a connection extending from your body, from your genitals, down into the earth.
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This can be any image that naturally occurs to you, or that you consciously choose. For example, it could be a tree trunk, a waterfall, an extension of your flesh, a hollow tube.
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Picture that image stretching down from your body, through the chair you’re sitting on, through the floor beneath you, down through the ground below the building you’re in, down through the rock, the bedrock, and the earth’s crust, all the way to the molten core at the center of the earth. Some people may feel or hear their connection to the earth’s core, rather than see it—whatever your experience is, it’s the right one.
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When you have your connection clearly formed, allow any overwhelming sensations, any negative energies, to leave your body through your lower belly and genitals, through your connecting bridge, down to the earth’s core.
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Consciously release any anxiety, mental distraction, physical discomfort, fear, tiredness, doubt, judgment, over-excitement. Whatever you do not want in your system, allow it to flow down through your body, through your connection, like sand in an hourglass, or water down a drain.
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When those unwanted sensations reach the earth’s core, they are transformed in that fiery blast. They return to you as Mother Earth energy. It rises up through your connection, bringing calm, strength, and sensual vitality.
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Continue directing negative energies to flow down and away, and allow liveliness, serenity, and power to rise up into you.
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To help you return to this grounded state more easily next time, use the process called anchoring. Touch a spot on your body that’s easy to reach and easy to remember. “Anchor” this grounded state to that spot. Later, touching that spot, as you focus on grounding, will help you return quickly to the grounded state.
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Open your eyes and prepare for your Commitment Ceremony.
Commitment Ceremony
Give yourself a powerful edge by beginning your 28 days with a brief Commitment Ceremony. Whenever you begin a new undertaking, making a specific commitment to it aligns your desire, your will, and your mental focus. It brings into play your subconscious, as well as your conscious mind, so that you have more resources to draw on and a greater likelihood of success.
Time: 4 minutes
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Take a moment to silently reflect on the exciting journey you are about to undertake together.
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When you are ready, open your eyes, and stand up, facing each other, about 18 inches apart.
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Join hands and, taking turns, speak your commitment aloud. Your commitment can be few words or many, what matters is that your words come from your heart—that you speak only what is true for you. Giving voice to your thoughts adds substance and meaning.
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Here are some examples to inspire you:
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“(Say your lover’s name)…, I commit to myself and to you to explore Tantric sex over the next 28 days, and to be honest, open, and adventurous as we explore together.”
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“My love, as we set out on this new path I commit to practicing with you everyday and to be as loving and as trusting as I can be.”
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“Beloved, I’m so excited to be learning sacred sex with you—you mean so much to me. I promise to do my best in the next weeks to practice regularly and to have fun with you while we’re learning.”
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When you have each made your commitment, continue to hold hands and move on to Exercise 3: Looks of Love.
Looks of Love
Time: 4 minutes
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For 1 minute (60 seconds) the woman sends her partner looks of love. Making full eye contact she allows all the tenderness, passion, and affection she feels for her mate to pass through her eyes and into his. No words are spoken, no sounds intrude, only love is passed from eye to eye and soul to soul. He allows himself to receive her love, to let it suffuse him and envelope him without question, without doubt or fear.
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After 1 minute the woman lightly squeezes her partner’s hand to let him know it’s his turn.
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Then he sends his love to her in the same manner—freely given, freely received.
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When this second minute has passed he squeezes her hand. Both then say “thank you” aloud.
Some pointers to help you with Looks of Love
This is a very powerful connecting exercise. You may find it a little uncomfortable, even overwhelming at first. You might laugh or want to look away quickly. Persevere, your nervousness will pass as your hearts open more and more to each other.
Don’t worry about counting out exactly 1 minute. Simply carry on with your loving look for as long as you comfortably can. At first 1 minute may seem a very long time, but as you progress through your Tantric practice, that will change.
You may find it easier to focus on one of your partner’s eyes rather than trying to look into both. Experiment to see what feels most comfortable for you.
Thought for the Day
Read this aloud
Couples assume that the relationship itself will carry their commitment for them. They can fall into a trap of automatic behavior—taking each other for granted, allowing passion to die, losing interest in sex, forgetting kindness and respect. It is essential to keep commitment alive by renewing it again and again, recreating it from a new perspective, as the two of you change over time.
Ending your Practice
Time: 1 minute
End your first day of Tantra practice together with a full head-to-toe hug and a thank you to each other and yourself.
Congratulations, you’ve taken your first step on the Tantric path to ecstasy.
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