Massage Tips
by Al Link and Pala Copeland
Massages are easy to do as well as fun to give and receive. You do not have to have any training to give your mate a thoroughly satisfying massage, although if you would like more guidance there are some excellent books and videos available.
Giving each other a massage as a first course of sexual play adds to your entire experience. Both partners are able to relax, leave the world behind, and be in the moment together. With massage, a woman’s body begins to awaken for arousal—her erotic side receives the time and attention she needs to “get in the mood”. A man whose body is relaxed so that his energy can flow more freely is able to last much longer.
You can perform massages just about anywhere—bed, floor, couch—but most comfortable for the masseur is a table at about hip height. It is not likely you have a portable massage table at home, but you do have a kitchen or dining table. With firm cushions, a foam mat or even an air mattress on top covered by a sheet, they make great massage surfaces. If the kitchen or dining rooms do not afford you as much privacy as you would like, move the table into your bedroom.
Give a dry massage—without oil, or a wet one—with oil. The market is flooded with wondrous lubricants—flavored, scented, unscented, edible, warming, tingling—take your pick. You can also make your own with a light vegetable oil, such as safflower, sunflower, jojoba, or canola-grape seed, and add your own essential oils to create a scent you prefer.
This is Al’s refreshing, and lightly spicy recipe, for the massage oil we supply in our lover’s kits at our Tantra weekends.
4 oz. canola oil (or substitute as above)
4 drops YlangYlang essential oil
1-2 drops Black Pepper essential oil (1 in summer, 2 in winter)
1-2 drops Clary Sage essential oil (1 in winter, 2 in summer)
Whichever products you choose for general body massage it is best to use water-based lubricants for massaging a woman’s genitals. Other lubricants may clog her pores and encourage vaginal infection.
Massage Strokes
If you are unsure how to begin to give a massage there are a few simple strokes you can learn to master easily. There are some excellent massage videos you can learn from.
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Long, smooth, firm strokes following the line of muscle up and down his body.
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Circular motions, especially at joints.
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Kneading—slowly and firmly squeezing muscle between fingers and palms of your hands, then letting go and repeating—particularly in large muscle groups like shoulders, back, buttocks and thighs.
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Feathering—very light fingertip strokes—primarily for erotic massage, the arousal of skin to skin contact.
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Rocking, with one hand on either side of your partner’s body, or a particular part of it, her buttocks for example, gently rock back and forth.
You cannot go wrong by starting out with slow, gentle pressure in your strokes. Ask your partner to tell you if she would like more intensity as you go. The more massages you give each other the easier it will become to know what is needed through the messages your hands give you. Nevertheless, whenever you are receiving a massage communicate your desires and sensations with loving requests and appreciative sounds—give your masseur informative and thankful feedback.
Starting your massage
An excellent starting point for a relaxing and invigorating massage is the back.
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Begin at the base of his spine with your palms on his sacrum (just above his tailbone).
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Inhale.
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As you exhale slide your hands up his back on either side of his spine.
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With a firm touch, follow the line of his shoulders out from his neck.
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Slide your hands down the outer sides of his back, coming to rest again at the base of his spine.
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Do it again and again and revel in his sighs of pleasure.
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Move on to his buttocks or shoulders or neck or arms—wherever your hands feel compelled to go.
If you are giving your lover a full body massage, make sure to cover every part of his body—ears, toes, eyes (very softly), fingers—not just the major sections like legs and back. His whole body has skin hunger. |
