Questions About Kama Sutra
|Q.||Can the Kama Sutra be explained in a summary?|
|Ans.||The Indian scholar Vatsyayana gathered and edited the manuscripts now known as the Kama Sutra sometime during the fourth century around 350 C.E., approximately 1,600 years ago. This is the most famous love manual of all time, offering timeless advice to lovers on how to make a relationship successful. The first English language translation was done by the famous British explorer Richard Burton in 1883. The parts of the Kama Sutra that have retained the most interest of modern readers are the chapters giving explicit instructions for sexual techniques including kissing, scratching, slapping, biting, and sexual intercourse. These sections comprise only approximately 5% of the total content in the Kama Sutra.|
|Q.||In what ways can the Kama Sutra improve serious relationships?|
|Ans.||For most couples, if they can get the sex right, the rest of their relationship problems can be worked out much more easily. This is because to get the sex right requires that they do their inner spiritual work to become fit for relationship, which simply means that they learn how to give and receive love. One of the primary ways lovers give and receive love is with sexual lovemaking. The Kama Sutra emphasizes the necessity for people to learn the art of lovemaking at an early age, preparing them for the life commitment of marriage. There is a great deal more to a relationship than sexual knowledge and skill, but without that sexual knowledge and skill, many find their passion dies and they lose interest in each other, turning their attentions to others outside of the primary relationship. Partly this is simply a matter of sheer boredom. Anyone who has learned and mastered the techniques taught in the Kama Sutra would never become a boring lover.|
|Q.||What are the differences between the Kama Sutra and Tantra?|
|Ans.||Tantra is a form of yoga. Tantra is a spiritual practice through which the lovers seek the direct realization that they are God and Godess—in the Indian pantheon Shiva/Shakti. Some Tantric practices, but certainly not all of them, include sacred sexuality. Kama Sutra sex is not sacred sex, not a spiritual practice, it is just great sex. Tantra, at least in its oral tradition, pre-dates the Kama Sutra by several thousand years. Both Tantra and the Kama Sutra originated in India. They also both emphasize similar sexual techniques such as slowing down, extending the lovemaking for long periods of time (over a course of hours, not just fifteen minutes), mastery of breath, men delaying ejaculation, etc.|
|Q.||Are there any connection between the Kama Sutra and Yoga?|
|Ans.||Yoga means union. There are many forms of yoga, but all of them are spiritual practices leading to enlightenment in which the individual ego is transcended and there is a direct personal realization of God consciousness. The Kama Sutra was not a spiritual text. It simply taught methods by which two people could stay in love for a lifetime together, with a significant emphasis on variety in sexuality.|
|Q.||In what ways may the Kama Sutra bring balance in one’s spirituality?|
|Ans.||The Kama Sutra is not primarily a spiritual text and not a spiritual practice, so any contribution to balancing one’s spirituality would be incidental rather than deliberate. However, the Kama Sutra does emphasize the 4 great aims of life. Dharma (moral character), Artha (earning a living, having a profession), and Kama (the art of love), and Moksha (spiritual liberation). Vatsyayana certainly stressed many times in the Kama Sutra that a balance of all 4 aims of life was necessary in order to live a fulfilled life, ultimately leading to liberation from the wheel of births and deaths.|
|Q.||Can the Kama Sutra help people with intimacy problems in their marriage?|
|Ans.||The primary forms of intimacy in relationship are sexual and non-sexual forms of communication. The Kama Sutra gives detailed instructions on how to communicate, before, during and after lovemaking, and of course it also presents detailed instructions on virtually all sexual techniques, with the exception that there is very little in the Kama Sutra about oral sex (fellatio, and cunnilingus).|
|Q.||Is there a particular sexual intercourse position that is best for the first time we make love?|
|Ans.||A bad first experience can be difficult to reverse or overcome later, so get the first time right.
There are many positions for sexual intercourse and no particular reason why you should try one first, although it is probably most common for the man to be on top the first time, but that is not any kind of rule.
Far more important is that you go slowly and not go for penetration until she is completely ready for it and wants it totally. Good indications that she is ready, willing, and able will be that she is well lubricated, moving her body (not lying still), making noise (not being quiet), pulling you tight and close with her body, and that she is asking, even begging for you to enter her.
One guideline we recommend is that you pleasure your partner with your mouth (cunnilingus) and your fingers, preferably bringing her to a clitoral orgasm (or very close to it) before there is any penetration. Then the first penetration will be with a finger to stimulate the g-spot. The last thing to go in will be your lingam (penis), and only when she lets you know she is ready. Don’t just barge in because you can’t stand waiting any longer.
You must respect her feelings, responding to any hesitation, anxiety, or fear she may have about the first time. Reassure her that you love, care for and adore her. Show how gentle you can be. Only increase the speed, force, power, pressure, or action as she welcomes that also, not just because you can’t control your own passion. Certainly be aware of any discomfort or pain she may experience and respond appropriately by slowing down, penetrating less or even withdrawing completely. If this happens, return to foreplay, and start building her excitement again as if from the beginning, with lots of kissing, hugging, touching, massage, and sweet words of adoration.
There are many sexual intercourse positions to experiment with, but don’t be in a hurry to try to many at once. Gradually add more position variation with subsequent lovemaking sessions. We have posted photo illustrations of many lovemaking positions in our blog category “Kama Sutra” - http://www.askaboutloveandsex.com/category/kamasutra/Study some of those and try them as they seem to fit with your mood, energy level and state of sexual arousal.|
|Q.||How much of an issue, is reduced flexibility for men? I am very uncomfortable doing the missionary position, and I’ve seen that this is what men first try.|
|Ans.||Flexibility is something people can work on and improve, for example using Hatha Yoga exercise. Now there are also Liberator shapes and these stackable foam cushions are wonderfully designed to make various sexual positions easy and comfortable for people with little flexibility and also those suffering from injury or illness.
You can get a free copy of our eBook with color illustrations of couples using Liberator shapes by registering for our free newsletter.
Free eBook: Kama Sutra Sexual Positions with Liberator Shapes
|Q.||What is "foot sex" or "sex with foot"? My girlfriend asked me to have an experience of this with her.|
|Ans.||I have never heard of foot sex, but of course the feet are highly erogenous zones for both men and women. Start by washing your lover’s feet. Dry them and apply a light lotion or massage oil. This simple procedure is a delight for any man or woman. To increase the stimulation try sucking on each other’s toes, which is sure to drive your partner wild and increase their sexual desire strongly. The toes may be used to stimulate the vagina and may be inserted inside the vagina as well. For example you might be seated in a restaurant at a table with a draped table cloth hanging over the sides. Remove your shoe and be sure your female partner is not wearing any underpants. Discreetly raise your toes to come into contact with her moist petals and stick your big toe inside her while you carry on a (reasonably) normal conversation and enjoy your meal.|